All too often in relationships the communication is unbalanced. Initially things might start strong, but after a few dates, one person does the majority of the talking. In many cases, this is the woman. Though this is not the case for everyone, many couples fit the stereotype of the talkative, curious woman and the reserved, quiet man. Some people make this work and aside from the occasional squabble, their relationships are healthy and happy. For others, though, this imbalance leads to problems. Women are unsatisfied with the lack of communication and men grow weary of the constant need for conversation.
One way to prevent such an imbalance and keep everyone happy is to focus on specific questions. If you have a problem running on too long and boring your conversation partner, consider focusing on certain issues. If you prepare a list of questions to ask your boyfriend in specific situations, you can keep your conversation under control and help him open up about his life.
New relationships are often filled with questions and attempts to get to know one another. It is usually easy to open up to one another if the two of you have clicked, but you do not want to go overboard with questions for your new boyfriend. Focus on questions you feel will put him a ease and help him share things about his life. You can ask personal questions, but move onto other subjects if you feel you have encountered a sensitive issue. Also try to avoid questions about previous relationships. A few good questions to ask your boyfriend early in the relationship include:
- Do you like your job?
- Where would you like to plan your next vacation?
- What do you like to do with your friends?
About His Family
Asking questions about someone’s family can be a tricky issue, especially if there are hard feelings or strained relationships in his life. Get a feel for how well he gets along with his family before you begin asking more detailed questions. A guy will let you know how comfortable he is talking about his family, so pay attention to the brevity of his answers and if he seems at ease. A few important family questions include:
- Do you get along with your family?
- Do you have any siblings?
- Are your parents still together?
- How do your parents feel about your job/your hobbies/your friends/etc.
On a Daily Basis
Once you are in a long-term relationship you need to work to keep the spark alive. Taking time to talk to one another everyday is an important part of maintaining intimacy. However, it can be tough for couples with one active talker and one quiet member. If you are the talker, keep your questions to a minimum, but make sure you show interest in your significant other. Women should focus on learning about their boyfriend’s day without pushing too hard or appearing needy. Remember, you want to ask your boyfriend questions that focus on him and no your insecurities. Daily questions to ask your boyfriend include:
- Did you enjoy your day?
- What was the best/worst part of your day?
- Did you do anything different?
- Did you learn anything new?
When You are Concerned about the Relationship’s Direction
If you are worried about your relationship it can be tempting to ask a barrage of questions and grill your boyfriend about the future. Resist doing this, but make sure you ask some of the questions you are thinking. Creating a list of controlled, direct questions can help establish where your relationship is and where it is going. Questions to ask your boyfriend about the direction of your relationship include:
- Are you happy in our relationship?
- Do you want to continue and/or change our relationship?
- What is your favorite part of our relationship?
- What would you change if you could?
The important thing to remember when you ask your boyfriend questions about your relationship is to trust his answers. It can be tough when you are having doubts to take him at his word, but it is important that you do. If he tells you he is happy, believe him and move on.
Before Getting Married
Once you reach the point where you know things are moving forward, take time to explore your future together. Before getting married, ask your boyfriend:
- Do you want children? How many?
- What religion should we raise a child? Does it matter if we are not the same religion?
- Where will we live?
- How will we handle our finances?
- How will we handle household responsibilities?
Depending on where you are in your relationship, there are many questions to ask your boyfriend. Questions are a great way to discuss your future, solve current problems, or get to know someone better. If you want to enhance your relationship with your boyfriend, take time to ask questions and listen to his answers.